Reconnected

Unplugged

Disconnected
Powerless
Static

This is how I have felt about myself and my life--especially over the last year. I have been in a state of mental, emotional, and spiritual decay. I’ve been smelling up my life with self-contained stinkin’ thinkin’.  That’s part of the story at least...

(being real isn't easy and sometimes not fun either. But its my new found way to put myself out there. To be used. To tell my story. Cause it's real. And I know, now, that I was not forgotten as I once thought I was)

The bible says that Jesus is the vine and I am the branch and that by staying connected to him, I can live a fruitful life, loving the people in the world around me.  If I lose that connection then I can’t do anything else.  Wow, what a statement.

In the past, I’ve read that as an almost condemning statement.  It’s my responsibility to stay connected to the source of life so that I can live a loving and powerful life.  Most of the time, I have fully believed it; but I'll admit that this past year that hasn't been the case. 

Here’s the thing though. Branches and fruit don’t decide for themselves that they are going to break off, fall down, and perish.  Neither did I.

Wait, what?

Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything. Phillipians says I can do all things through him who gives me power.

This changes the filter that I can see myself and my life through.

What if I was never actually disconnected, unplugged, static, and powerless?  What if these were just illusory lies that I had allowed myself to be convinced of?  
What if these were  JUST. NOT. TRUE.?

The fruit of my life is this: Regardless of the difficulties that existed, it was the continued love of family and friends that never gave up and continued to feed me with truth and love, enabling me to let go of the hold that was over me.  It was their love and determination to work through and help me overcome my negative history and my difficulties that helped to strengthened me.  

If the connection was as completely severed as I had believed, I would not have been fighting so hard to keep my head above the raging waters of the depression, anxiety, pain, and fatigue for as long as I have.  I would not have had the connection and bond with these individuals who have stood next to me over the last year and a half.  If it were true that I was without strength and power, then I would not have been able to think and act in proactive and meaningful ways to access the services and supports that I needed. 

Yet I have done all of these things, in the midst of what I have falsely believed to be a weakening of character, energy, and internal reserves.

In the midst of what I have believed to be a dying life, my life has been growing as a life that matters and I’m seeing it and reconnecting to that truth.

Being Reconnected 
Feels Great!!