Alive.

I feel so grateful for the way I feel right now. I don't know that I have ever felt this alive before. It is so obvious to me now that I was completely shut down. I was depressed. So, here I am….really feeling fantastic!

Let's face it. Sometimes "life" can knock the wind right out of you. Whether it's a life-altering situation that suddenly knocks you flat on your back, or a series of events that slowly rob you of your energy - one day you wake up and realize, "I'm barely existing. I'm not as alive as I used to be." Living each day in "survival mode" – I have to do this, I have to go here, this person needs this and that person needs that. Responsibilities constantly tugging at my sleeves and everyone vying for my attention. 

It drains you. Those I remember when I loved my life thoughts start to come to mind......

You begin to remember the "good old days" and reminisce about the woman you once were – young, in shape, happy, with dreams, goals and a social life. You felt like you could do, be and have anything you wanted then. You had fun. You felt alive. 

If you stay with yourself, and allow yourself to *feel*, you will heal. Waking up is the beginning. Knowing that you don’t want to suffer anymore is key. Seeing things for what they truly are, and seeing people in your life for who they truly are keeps you moving on the path of awakening. The most important thing is that I was truthful with myself. I started finally telling myself the truth of what I felt and what I needed and what I like and dislike. This was huge! I had to learn how to allow all of this without holding on to the guilt and shame that was attached to it. 

This is the most incredible feeling in the world! I learned to do things for me. I learned to tell people no. I learned to stay away from people who didn’t feed the goodness in me. Was it easy? No!!!! But am I stronger? Yes!!! Do I know for sure I am a strong empowered woman? Yes!!!! It takes work. It takes learning to talk back to the voice inside your head that is feeding you lies. Trust me, the voices are not you! They are lies. Loving myself feels so wonderful, I can’t describe it. I crave doing things that feel good. I believe these things all come naturally now because I am more in balance mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

I had lost some of myself and desperately needed to begin living again. I needed to revive my heart. And I needed to resuscitate my body, my energy and my life goals! I needed to re-discover me. Well I did! 

Back To The Start (God's Great Dance Floor) - Passion 2013